It shows up every single time. Every time we face a change. When we want to grow and get better, when we want to create something, when we want to start a business. Change is hard and scary. We are afraid of failure. We feel not good enough. We are frightened by rejection. And that’s the perfect time, for our inner voice to show up. But don’t blame it. It’s its job. To protect us. To keep us safe. How does it do it? Simply by asking questions we don’t know the answers to.

That’s when most of us make the biggest mistake we can ever make. We don’t know the right answer. We don’t see the whole staircase. We get scared and we back up. We decide to wait. To support our decision, we come up with an excuse that is logical and believable. That’s it. Our dream has no chance. …poof… And it’s gone.

 

But wait a minute. You want to make a difference, right?

And that’s the main reason why you have to overcome your fears. You want to make a difference. You want to live up to your potential. You don’t want anything that would hold you back.

“You can’t succeed without failing first.” – Neil Patel

What does “making a difference” really mean to you?

For me, it means to create something that will help others. To bring a value that would make their lives a little better, a little easier.

See? To create and to bring. These are verbs. The results are based on action. But what do we do instead? We wait. We ask questions we don’t know the answers to.

 

Do You Have What it Takes?

We will do anything to postpone action, won’t we? Just a small sign of resistance, even far, far on the horizon, and here it is, we already have an excuse.

There are things we can’t control. Or at least, we cannot control them as much as we would like to. So, don’t worry about them. Yes, there is nothing you can do about it. Let them fall into the place by themselves. Let it go.

And there are things completely within your control. Focus on them.

• Can you choose how to help others? Yes, you can.
• Can you study (read, watch, listen, attend) everything what was already discovered in the niche you chose? Yes, you can.
• Can you find mentors to follow and study their work? Yes, you can.
• After you study, can you start creating yourself? Yes, you can.
• Can you become better if you practiced daily? Yes, you can.

Are these things fully within your control? Yes, they are. They depend only on one thing. Your decision and commitment to act. Without doubt, it’s seems scary. It’s seems intimidating. But there are very practical ways to make it bearable (just keep reading).

“And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

– Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

But I Don’t Really Have a Passion.

Here we go again. But you know what? I don’t believe it. We simply overthink it. Often we look for something magical, but in fact, it’s a hard work.

Everyone of us can pretty much do anything. But there is something you can do much better than others. It may not be obvious to you, because it’s just the way you do it, but comparing it to others, you can focus on it for much longer periods of time. And when you fail, you may want to quit, but it won’t let you. You will come back to it again and again. You just can’t stop. And that’s what makes you better. If you practice it. Do you?

 

I Don’t Know What to Do. What if I Pick a Wrong Thing?

You have no time to waste. I get it. It’s your life that is at stake here. No doubt. But this is the time when choosing something, anything in that matter, is more important that waiting. How so? Because it’s very likely that whatever you choose, even if it’s not the very right thing, will become handy in the future and will help you, as I call it, to advance to the next level. Waiting doesn’t do that. Never.

I chose leadership, at first. I was obsessed. I read pretty much every book written by John Maxwell, I listened to his maximum impact lessons, and I became Founding Partner of The John Maxwell Team. I spent about ten years studying everything what John had to say. While I’m thankful to leadership for getting me where I’m today, honestly, I don’t think that it is my thing. The thing. Without doubt, it’s kind of close, but still a little off the target. But the way I see it, is that without leadership, without those countless hours studying, I would not be able to advance into the next level and get where I’m right now.

”Success is something you attract by the person you become.”

– Jim Rohn

No matter how you define success, you have to become something more than you are. You have to get better. You have to grow into what you want and attract it.

Your heart has been telling you something. Maybe for years. But you discounted it, or possibly completely dismissed it. I challenge you to revisit that thought today. Because one thing is for sure, you will learn nothing by waiting. Dreaming about [writing] will take you nowhere. If you want to be an author, then write. If you want to be a cook, then cook. If you want to be an entrepreneur, then start a venue. However small. However imperfect. Just start.

Many of us feel overwhelmed. There are so many options. Would help if there were fewer option? Bear with me and imagine a simpler world where there were only four options. You could be a doctor, an entrepreneur, soldier, or a teacher. What would you choose? You can be whatever you like. What would you pick. Obviously in today’s world there are many more options. But the principle is the same. Choose one thing and go after it. Do whatever it takes. Just don’t be stuck in a job/place you don’t want to be in.

Once i read somewhere that if you can think of it, you can do it. I don’t think that there is a scientific background to support that thought, but I do think that there is some true in it. Think about it. It never comes to my mind to become a doctor. How come? I don’t think that I was meant to be one. And that’s the whole point. Mary is a cook, Jennifer is a teacher, Robert builds houses, John will be a doctor, and Kelly works in the library. I help people to relax, refuel, take great vacations. We got it. 

You don’t have to worry about that. Someone made the car that is parked outside. Someone else started to cook breakfast while you were still in your bed. Yes, they have coffee ready, too. Yet another person made clothes. And another one drives a bus or taxi, just in case you don’t feel like driving. Someone else repairs the roads. They got it. Everything is ready.

Tomorrow, you will wake up in the morning, you will dress up, hop in the car, make a stop to pick up a breakfast, and then, what will you do? What’s the best thing you can do? What is your thing so you can tell us, “don’t worry guys, I got this”.

There is something that very scary that keeps coming to our mind, but we always dismiss it. But how would our lives changed if you rather start asking a better question? Targeted on things that are within our control. How can I help others? Because this is the key question. How are you making other people’s lives easier?

 

 

Three Step to Overcome the Fear of Failure.

 

1. Clarify what you want.

If you don’t know what you want, you will never get it. You want to make a difference. You feel so motivated and driven. Ready to go. If you only knew what. Often we say, I really want to have my own business. I would do anything. And that’s the problem right there. “Anything”. It’s too abstract. What is the action item on that? No wonder we get lost. No wonder we don’t know where to start. Anything is not actionable.

When you clarify what you really want, it will no longer be just “I want to make a difference”, but it will rather change to “I want to write great stories/cook/create great vacations. And that’s far more specific. It’s much easier to identify the next step.

I want to create great vacations. For years I was dreaming about owning my own hotel. Just thinking about it, that would be amazing. I’ve been so excited about that idea, but there is a problem. I don’t have that kind of cash in my pocket. “Life is not fair”, I would say. I’m not able to do something that I cannot afford to buy. It took me years to figure it out. Because I was in the waiting mode. Waiting to win a lottery or I don’t really know what for. But one day it hit me. I knew I needed to move forward. I knew I needed to do something that would help me to get to the next level. So I started a cleaning business. Yes, I know, sad. But that was as close to hospitality as I was able to get. But my alternative was a bed and breakfast. The problem was that I don’t like that concept and I had no money for this option either. (I feel like people don’t get as much privacy as they need or as I would want in B&B). But as I was running the cleaning business, one day I was thinking. I could do vacation rentals. That’s kind of like a hotel. Even though I didn’t have enough money to buy a condo, I knew there were people who did have that kind of money, but were not interested in running a vacation rental business. Light in the end of the tunnel, I thought. Until my inner voice showed up. It sensed that something cool is going on. “Why would anyone entrusted you with a condo?”. “Aren’t there already enough vacation rental businesses in town?”. Of course, I had no satisfying answer. But this time, I decided to focus on more important question. If I wanted to proceed with this scare and crazy idea, how would I contact the people who own the condos? Well yes, there is a way to get their mailing addresses. I could write a letter. Describe my dream and ask them to entrust me to create great vacations for their guest and in the process, make some extra money for them. What was my next step? To write a letter. See how specific it is? My next step is to sit down and write a letter.

You make a difference by taking action. However small. By exploring. By creating. By taking action.

 

2. Learn.

Often people say, Just Do It. And it may work for some. but for the rest of us, let’s learn. Let’s grow. Let’s get better. Books are cheap. Read everything what is known in your niche. Watch videos. Read magazines. Study slides and infographics. Listen to webinars. Attend conferences. Do everything you can to seriously study that subject. Drink the information like from the firehose. Be like a sponge. Get it in.

At the same time remember that this part is easy. It’s entertaining and doesn’t require much courage and effort. So don’t stay in this phase for too long. Remember that difference is made by taking action. Taking action is hard. The world around you may be full of no-sayers and close-minded people, who will not be as supporting of your endeavor as you will need them to be.The first and easiest thing to do is to find open-minded people that will support you. Search meet up for a groups close to you or find an on-line forum. Test the information you have learned. Test your ideas.

 

3. Take a small step. Repeat. Day after day.

Create. This step is the hard part. You will see it clearly in your head, but it will be hard to reproduce it in reality. It’s likely that whatever you create will not account to much. It’s likely that you will hate it. It’s likely that it won’t work. Don’t worry about who will like it and who will not. Create. Do your best. Be hundred percent in and return daily. That’s what counts. It’s not a magic, it’s discipline. Trust yourself. Trust the process. The dots will connect.

I had only two choices. To part away with my dream or to take action. I didn’t like my job, I didn’t like where I was nor where I was headed, but still I decided to stay. Why? My life was already busy enough. It wasn’t ideal, it wasn’t what I dreamed of, but I knew what I was doing. And I was good at it. I had a routine. It was much easier. The problem? This thing, that calling seeded deep inside me, was unstoppable. It kept coming back. It bugged me. Again and again, and again. So one day I listened. I took action. I quit and started my own thing. By offering my service to my neighbor. A small step followed by another one. Customer by customer. And I’m glad I did.

If you are happy where you are, by all means don’t change anything. But if there is something more you can do, don’t hold it back. It seems that it would be great to have a GPS for our life. You know, ”In five hundred feet take left, and continue for 1.2 miles. Your destination will be on your right. You arrived. John will ask you this and you tell him that. Then he will sign the contract. The check will arrive on the 23rd.” But life doesn’t work this way. It’s simply up to you, and just up to you to take a step into the unknown and trust that the dots will connect. Be curious. Take small seemingly insignificant steps. Explore.

As Martha Beck recommends, answer this question: “I want …, but I’m afraid … Analyze that fear. Write it down. Likely you will find that it’s not real.

Lewis Howes says, “You failed, so what?”.

”It is through creating that we find out who we really are.” – James Clear

Every single day brings a new challenge and doubt, but also new load of hope. Hope to be able to make a difference. It’s a game. The best game you can ever play. Every single day you have the opportunity to make a difference, by taking action.

Ready? Aim. Aim. Aim. Aim. Aim…?

Everyone can do that.

But the ball is in your hands. There is no point to just stand there. Will you run with it?